How Can Permissive Parenting Negatively Impact a Person’s Development?

The permissive style of parenting is associated with parents who offer their children a warm and nurturing environment with few expectations, rules, or boundaries. Children parented with this style often have lots of control over their own lives, and are allowed to explore the world freely and openly. Although some children find this style to be perfectly suited for them, others may not and have to deal with the negative effects of permissive parenting as they continue to develop. According to multiple studies, the permissive parenting style can have a considerably negative influence on people’s mental health, likelihood of addiction, and emotional intelligence (Barton & Hirsch, 2015; Lo et al., 2020; Wischerth et al., 2016). 

Many students struggle with deadlines, rules, and expectations in academic settings, but those with permissive parents may struggle at greater levels. Barton and Hirsch (2015) investigated the entitlement levels and mental health of college students who self-reported as having been raised with a permissive parenting style. A survey of 524 students showed that those raised with permissive parents reported higher levels of entitlement and depressive feelings, as well as “less of most types of psychological well-being” (Barton & Hirsch, 2015). This outcome can be attributed to the nature of permissive parenting, in which having little guidance from parents encourages children to take control of their own lives. By doing so, children may grow up with a decreased understanding of how to conduct themselves in settings with many rules, regulations, and deadlines, such as academic ones. As Barton and Hirsch (2015) suggest, “students who feel academically entitled approach college with unrealistic expectations about a smoother path, perhaps modeled by their permissive parents…and, thus, experience cognitive dissonance and frustration when challenged with an academic setting that requires self-sufficiency and good self-regulatory skills for success” (Barton & Hirsch, 2015). Feelings of frustration could potentially lead to feelings of depression, which is what some students of permissive parenting reported feeling (Barton & Hirsch, 2015). It cannot be concluded that this parenting style is the only or most salient cause of entitlement, but there is a potential correlation. Permissive parenting can be one of the reasons many students struggle with feelings of entitlement and depression because self-regulatory skills were not developed adequately in childhood (Barton & Hirsch, 2015).

Internet addiction is another area in which permissive parenting may not yield very positive results. Lo et al. (2020) investigated the relationship between permissive parenting and the development of internet addiction among children. Two hundred and twenty-seven students enrolled in Hong Kong schools were asked to respond to multiple questions regarding internet usage and whether it impacted their lives negatively. Participants were also instructed to complete a questionnaire that measured the children’s levels of worry. After analyzing the data, it was found that children who were raised by highly permissive parents had greater levels of worry and internet addiction compared to children raised by parents who were not highly permissive (Lo et al., 2020). This outcome may have been due to the greater amounts of screen time from a lack of parental restrictions, leading them to develop a dependency on electronics. This also may be due to the fact that these kids were not taught ways to self-monitor or self-regulate from their permissive parents (Lo et al., 2020). The children, therefore, may have a hard time stopping themselves from using the internet so much because of few parental restrictions and decreased self-regulation. Such a dependency can possibly cause challenges for children as they continue to grow. It can also make transitioning into new environments difficult, like schools or social settings where electronics are not allowed. These children may also have a difficult time shaking this addiction, which could lead to withdrawal effects, such as anxiety and worry. Therefore, heightened levels of internet usage allowed by lax parenting may be harmful to children’s mental health and their abilities to self-monitor. 

The cultural and societal attitudes regarding parenting styles may also play a part in the development of harmful coping techniques in children of permissive parents. In certain cultures, such as Chinese culture, the societal consensus regarding parenting is that parents should be very involved with their kids, disciplining them when necessary. Permissive parenting in cultures such as this where parents are expected to monitor and discipline their kids may exacerbate the potential negative effects of permissive parenting (Lo et al., 2020). Children in China may take their parent’s lack of concern as a lack of love, which might make them turn to the internet as a coping mechanism (Lo et al., 2020). Coupled with the fact that these kids might not have adequately learned useful ways to self-monitor from their parents (Lo et al., 2020), it may become difficult for them to curb their internet addictions by themselves. For these reasons, the permissive style of parenting in cultures where parents are expected to be involved can potentially have negative effects on children’s mental health and regulation skills.

Permissive parenting is also associated with adverse effects on the emotional intelligence of adolescents. Wischerth et al. (2016) explored the relationship between permissive parenting and the emotional intelligence of students. Emotional intelligence and personal growth were assessed by the students' self-reported measures. Results found that those raised in households utilizing permissive parenting techniques scored lower in emotional intelligence than those who were not parented in such a way (Wischerth et al., 2016). These findings may be due to a tendency for permissive parents to not demonstrate appropriate ways for their children to handle strong emotions, like anger or frustration. Instead, unhealthy coping mechanisms such as avoidance or projection can become go-to responses in stressful situations, which can hinder emotional intelligence. This can show up in interactions with adult authority figures, as inexperience with following strict instructions could induce negative emotional responses, such as anxiety and frustration. Because of their upbringing, some children of permissive parents may have difficulties controlling their emotions or empathizing with others due to their weak emotional intelligence. 

Permissive parenting is a fascinating parenting style where children are not bound by many rules and expectations. Due to its lax and hands-off style, children are free to navigate the world by themselves with little adult intervention. This can create an environment for entitlement to fester, internet addiction to become rampant, and difficulties in the development of emotional intelligence. Children may have greater difficulty adjusting to academic settings, limiting their internet usage, or developing emotional intelligence (Barton & Hirsch, 2015; Lo et al., 2020; Wischerth et al., 2016). Although not every effect of permissive parenting may be negative, it is clear that aspects of this parenting style can create challenges for children as they continue to grow and enter new spaces and life stages. 

References

Barton, A. L. & Hirsch, J. K. (2015). Permissive parenting and mental health in college students: Mediating effects of academic entitlement. Journal of American College Health, 64(1).

https://doi.org/10.1080/07448481.2015.1060597

Lo, B. C. Y., Lai, R. N. M., Ng, T. K., & Wang, H. (2020).Worry and Permissive Parenting in Association with the Development of Internet Addiction in Children. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 17(21). https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17217722

Wischerth, G. A., Mulvaney, M. K., Brackett, M. A., & Perkins, D. (2016). The Adverse Influence of Permissive Parenting on Personal Growth and the Mediating Role of Emotional Intelligence. The Journal of Genetic Psychology, 177(5). https://doi.org/10.1080/00221325.2016.1224223