Coping with the Loss of a Pet

There's no doubt pets play a significant role in our lives. Pets are there to provide love, support, and to be by our side come what may. It’s hard to imagine saying goodbye to a pet after spending so much time with them. Dealing with grief is never easy, it can take months or years to process. Although pets come to form part of our families, grieving a pet isn't acknowledged or recognized by people as much as losing someone close to you. This may stem from non-pet owners' lack of familiarity with the pain and loss a pet owner goes through. Losing a pet can lead individuals to isolate themselves from others in an attempt to process their grief. When navigating the loss of a pet, it's imperative that individuals take time to grieve and receive support to process the emotional and psychological impacts of losing a pet.

When individuals lose a pet, confiding in people around them, whether it be friends or family members, cultivates the feeling of having a support system one can trust. Even when there is a support system, confiding in those who have never experienced the loss of a pet may feel difficult. Grieving the loss of a pet is oftentimes downplayed because animals aren't given the same emotional significance that human relationships receive. According to Stefano Mariano, whenever pet owners experienced grief, they would go on to sever relationship ties with friends or family members who ignored or failed to empathize with their grief. Mariano states that, “The death of a pet typically does not involve the same rituals that allow owners to express their grief, and the resulting grief may be considered pathological” (Mariano 2024, p. 27). Pathological grief occurs when someone who has experienced grief is struggling to fully recover from their loss after many months or years. This demonstrates that feelings of grief from losing a pet are felt deepest by pet owners; therefore, those who either do not own a pet or have never lost a pet may not be the best sources of support. Commonly used phrases like "you'll get over it" or "it's just a pet and nothing more" tend to overlook the relationship one has built with one's pet. It's important to introduce more conversations about pet loss and its impact on the lives of pet owners as well as the ways in which those around them can best be of support. 

Another factor that goes into grief is isolating oneself from others and no longer finding purpose in the things one enjoys. Whenever someone is dealing with a tragic life event, they tend to distance themselves from others to take some time to reflect on the events that transpired. A study was conducted by Brown in 2023 to measure the impact of losing a pet on older adults. The results showed that “people who have lost an animal companion are often expected to keep their sorrow to themselves” (Brown, p.2). It’s grueling to lose a pet, especially as an older adult as a pet could have been the only source of companionship they had. This may evoke feelings of loneliness in older adults as their best friend isn’t around to comfort them. Moreover, the concept of disenfranchised grief elucidates that someone who is dealing with this level of grief will have the most difficulty resuming activities they enjoy. This highlights the toll that grief takes on someone's emotional well-being as it takes time to process and heal from such a life-altering event.

Whenever someone is dealing with grief, they may not be fully sure how to process it, especially if they are experiencing grief for the first time in their life. One method that may help individuals better process grief is Pet Bereavement Counseling. It explores attempts to understand the effects of losing a pet on owners by looking at the relationship between an owner and their animal companion. In a study by Leonhardt (2022), participants expressed that “pet bereavement counseling has helped a lot because… you can come to this place… without any judgements on them without worrying what they’re going to say…. which sometimes out in society it’s pretty judgmental” (Leonhard, p. 370). Pet Bereavement Counseling allows for people to express how they’re feeling to professionals as many might want to talk to someone who would listen to their feelings and not judge their situation on the matter. Participants also highlighted that seeing a professional who specializes in pet bereavement may help them feel seen and are more likely to “seek out help… because they feel that person is an expert in that area and that they understand it more” (Leonhardt 371). This type of counseling allows an open space for clients to discuss how much their pet meant to them. It can help individuals dealing with pet loss to be open to seeking support and to know that there are people who are willing to listen to their feelings. 

Losing a pet is never an easy experience, it can be just as painful as losing a family member or friend. Learning to cope with the loss of a loved one is not an easy feat. It’s important to surround oneself with those who understand how one feels and who can listen to one’s feelings. Pet owners who have lost their loved ones should reach out to a professional to talk about their loss— psychological professionals may offer support, and reminders that the bond with one's pet endures beyond passing, and help individuals cherish the memories they've shared.

Works Cited

Cary A. Brown, Donna M. Wilson, Eloise Carr, Douglas P. Gross, Maxi Miciak, Jean E. Wallace, Older adults and companion animal death: A survey of bereavement and disenfranchised grief, Human-Animal Interactions, 10.1079/hai.2023.0017, (2023).

Leonhardt, Emily. “Coping with Animal Companion Loss: A Thematic Analysis of Pet Bereavement Counselling.” National Library of Medicine, 23 February 2022, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11017691/. Accessed 27 October 2024.

Mariano, Stefano. “Is Grief and Mourning for a Pet and a Family Member the Same? A Narrative Review.” Qeios, 5 September 2024, https://www.qeios.com/read/LAS0GT.8. Accessed 27 October 2024.

Understanding Pathological Grief. MentalHealth.com, 25 September 2024, https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/understanding-pathological-grief. Accessed 15 November 2024.